A finger in my I

A nice and feathery Brazilian cutie for your viewing pleasure. Just that. What, disappointed? Well, as soon as Brazil shows more, I’ll show more of my cuties. That’s the ransom.

Día 18. A promising day that thankfully delivered. Sure, my eyes were not really set on Brazil’s game. It was a given they were going to rout Ghana. No siree. It was Spain and France, neighbors and iconic football powers that were going to meet, astonishingly, for the first time in a World Cup. They had always come close to each other, but never met.

Did it pay off? Was the anticipation worth it? Read on.

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Brazil 3 – Ghana 0

Not much to write about here. No, really. Sometimes there really isn’t a need to go to all the trouble of reading into things when there’s not much to read into.

Brazil played at half speed through most of the game, and thanks to their usual standard of finishing, made the most of their chances. Ghana, despite having more, and at times better possession, just didn’t know what to do with it once they reached the 3/4ths of the field. Simple as that.

The early goal, however, did a lot to quell whatever anxiety the Brazilians might have had. Which was very little really, since they looked comfortable, never pressured and never rushed. They looked as if this match was only a necessary appointment for them. One more form to fill out as they go because, honestly, they have yet to meet opposition that approaches their level. That’s why next game is going to be very interesting.

Ghana tried, and did what they could, but they lost because of two key factors: One, the godawful idea that somehow playing the offside trap against Brazil is going to work, and it will always, always catch Ronaldo and Adriano — obviously amateur, inexperienced players that are not used to dirty tricks like these at all. That was suicide from the bench, particulary considering the quality of Ghana’s back line.

Two, defensive screwups. All of Brazil’s goals came from gifts given by the lacking defense of Ghana. First one: Ronaldo breaking through that ridiculous offside trap they were throwing. Second one: Adriano coming in from behind, alone and unmarked, to tap it in point-blank. Third one: Ze Roberto breaking their offside trap again, past the keeper, and there you go.

Now, Ghana tried. And their had their moments. There was one close, close header in front of goal in the first half that Dida managed to find with his shoe. Some other close shots. But, really… would that have changed things? I don’t think so. Ghana fought all the time, not only against Brazil, but also against their lack of quality finishing and that vice they had of always trying to do just one more touch than it’s needed up front.

Brazil keeps going, and everyone knew it was gonna happen.

Man of the Match: I’d give it to Ze Roberto (BRA) just to be different, because none of the usual suspects really, really shone.
The good: Ronaldo becomes the top striker in WC history with 14 goals.
The bad: Not much really. Would’ve been nice to see Brazil playing at full speed, but then again there was never a need for them to do so during the game. Save energy, conserve your players. Smart.

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Spain 1 – France 3

And what’s all this then? What the hell happened here? This is what happened:

The first half I’ll give it squarely to Spain. They had possession, and when they didn’t have it, they were keen and able to recover the ball quick, be that from their own virtues or from French passing imprecisions (which were many in the first half). Spain was the faster team, the team with the ball that leaned on offense, counting on catching Henry in offside thanks to their back four playing way up the field. It worked. It worked great. Spain generated football and tried to penetrate France from everywhere. France? They were slower and more imprecise. But worse, they were giving Spain the necessary room for them to use it and create their own game.

Yet… you can’t throw the offside trap over and over and over again against an experienced team like France and think they’ll never catch on. At some point they’ll realize what you’re trying to do. That happened as the first half was dying. I imagine the French were “Aha. So… you wanna catch Henry all the time with the little trap? Fine. We’ll get someone else you’re not looking at”. And sure enough. Through ball, Rivery coming like a bat out of hell from 10 meters behind. No one was covering him. Clean ball in front of the keeper. Regate y gol. 1-1.

That goal must have hurt the Spanish and emboldened the French, because the second half was much different. France came out of the lockers not looking like that timid, slow team that was content with trying with imprecision and playing like crap. They tightened up, and started pressing the Spanish midfield. They started to get the ball much more often, and to create some football much more often. Zidane started to get the ball more. As for Spain, they stuck to their guns. They kept trying the way they know how. Offensively, looking forward. Just like the first half. But now the spaces were not there. Now the French were more solid. Now the French were not playing so far apart from each other. Now France, slowly, slowly, were starting to become the team that was surely taking control of the game away from Spain.

And the goals were not coming for Spain so, double trouble. It suddenly became a really, really even game, where anything could happen. And it did.

I’m not gonna stop a lot in the ‘foul’ from Puyol to Henry. To me, it wasn’t a foul. But depending on the ref’s position, he could’ve seen it in some other way. The important things here are: One, that is was a foul done in an irrelevant and completely predictable position. And by that I mean, too far to shoot straight to goal. Predictable? Hello? Was there anyone in the stadium that didn’t know that shot was going to be an open cross into the box?

So knowing and thinking of all this, it doesn’t really matter if it was a foul or not. It was called a foul. Puyol’s yellow, yeah, I disagree with that more, because I didn’t see anything going on there that would merit a yellow. But it was called a foul. It doesn’t matter. What matters is that if everyone knew it was going to be a high cross, looking for a header, then why on earth did Vieira just waltz in from the back, like Adriano, alone and unmarked, having all the time in the world to measure the header and nail it? Where was the marking? Everyone looking at the ball, no one at the guy that’s making the run in. Bad.

The nail in the coffin? France coming out to put pressure on a Spain that was decidedly leaning forward to get a goal. All of a sudden Spain’s last man finds himself with the ball and 3 French biting his ankles. Ball lost, quick counter and a really nice goal from Zizou, showing some good finishing. 3-1. No time to come back. No time for Spain to do anything.

Now, I give them a lot of shit, but credit must be give where it’s due. I think France played a very smart game on the second half. Stepping up their perfomances, tightening up and doing what needed to be done to crack open the problem of an offensive Spain. It was truly a midfield contest all through the game, but France stepped up to the plate for the second half, and they did it in a better way than Spain. Spain just kept trying their same formula that gave them good results. This time, it just didn’t work.

Some names, quick: Zidane, missing in the first half, getting better as minutes went by. Henry, irrelevant. Caught way too many times in offside. Rivery and Vieira, instrumental. Gumption through the first half, added skill and presence for the second. France’s best those two.

Torres? A threat, never realized. Raul, missing. Villa, trying, never got a clean one on goal.

Brazil – France now, and this is getting good because a) Brazil all of a sudden is put in front of a team worth a damn, after having played fun against four nobodies. And b) the team worth a damn shows they’re stepping up their game. We saw it against Togo, and now we saw it against a much better rival. Maybe France woke up? Is it too late for Brazil, and they’re heading to bed out of boredom because they didn’t really play anyone?

Interesting prospect whatever the case.

Man of the Match: Can’t pick one, really. Shared between Vieira and Rivery (FRA). I liked them both.
The good: Intense last minutes after France’s second goal. Zidane showing he still has some left in him, scoring the important goals.
The bad: Raul. Came, did nothing, left with nothing. I think it’s time to finally go ahead and put the Raul legend to rest, once and for all. As far as I’m concerned, he’s officially a has-been. Barthez is blind. We all know he has the footwork of a fish, but does he have to get out of the box and show it so much?

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And now, two straight days without football, until the quarter finals. And what quarter finals!

Friday 30th:
Germany – Argentina
Italy – Ukraine

Saturday 1st:
England – Portugal
Brazil – France

It’s just the cutie next door. Assuming you live in Venice, Florence or a place like that. She’s fingerlickin’ good, in a sort of subdued mediterranean way. Like a good sauce. No one has sauce alone but… I dare you to have pasta without sauce all the time. You can’t.

Day 17. The day the Earth stood still in anticipation of… well, nothing happened. Not even proper goals. Yeah, there were “goals”, but all came from PKs, and I stand by Oxford’s definition, which states that PKs are not kosher goals.

I really, really hope SPA – FRA tomorrow leaves us with something. Something other than grit, clenched teeth, hard tackling and boredom, which is mostly what we’ve had so far in this second round. It’s a promising game, but then again… well, hell… France is playing. You never know.

This second round needs to end with a bang, and SPA – FRA looks like it could be it. I have to admit I wouldn’t mind at all seeing France eliminated. However, the idea of Spain losing to one of the most underwhelming teams in this cup has a certain appeal. A painful appeal, since I’m fond of Spain, but it might serve as a reminder that in football you should take nothing for granted. A reminder we all need sometimes, no matter who we are.

Before I get too philosophical, let’s do this.

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Australia 0 – Italy 1

That penalty was dodgy!

Right. It was. But what about the rest of t…

It was dodgy I tell you! It shouldn’t have been called!

Agreed. But had Australia been leading by a few goals it shouldn’t have mat…

Dodgy! Dodgy ref! He’s on the take! FIFA wants to destroy usssssss!!!

Yes, pretty clear. But what about the fact you couldn’t score to save your life against a team in numeric inferiority that was pretty much defending and betting on counters for 45 minu…

Oh sweet merciful Jesus! Please let’s have video review of the calls! This is by far the worst refereeing in any world cup ever! Ever!(*)

Okay, settle down now.

OMFGWTFBBQ!!!!111 If you’re not with us you’re against us! You’re condoning the Italian Olympic Diving team! You’re a wanker just like them! Burn him! Burn him with fireeeee!!!

No. I actually despise the Italians a bit. I’m simply saying that instead of focusing on one crappy ref decision, why not also focus on the slew of crappy decisions your team made all through the g…

LIKE WHAT?!?! GUUS IS GOD! It’s just like in ‘Socceroos’, but with u’s instead of o’s! That’s doubleplusgood, mate!

Well, a few things. First of all, drop the Socceroos already. That nickname commands even less fear and respect than the El Paso Cocksuckers FC. I mean, really. Second, you’re basically expecting the world to like you because, basically, you try. Because that’s all you did, didn’t you? You tried. That’s no basis for football love or respect. Everyone tries. So let me get this straight… when you try, and succeed, then it’s “Oh, what a heroic performance, overcoming the odds, yadda yadda”. And when you try and you don’t succeed, it’s “Oh, what a plucky little team! Never giving up against adversity! Ah, cruel fate! It was just luck! We’re the moral victors!”. Right. So you just can’t lose, right?

You hate Australia! That’s what it is! Yeah!

No. You mistake ‘hating Australia’ with ‘not really giving a damn about Australia’. I don’t hate Australia. I just don’t buy all the self-spun hype from a limited team with very loud ‘net fans.

Oh, that’s it! That’s IT! We’re taking the team out of FIFA! You’ll never see us again in a World Cup! Ever!

I think you’ve been managing that quite well all the time. Since 1974, I believe. That was the last one, right? And before that… none. So… keep at it, I suppose.

Man of the Match: Are you joking?
The good: Finally they’ll shut the hell up. Too bad it had to be against Italy, but in a weird way, it makes a lot of sense.
The bad: Unfortunately, they’ll start talking again about the PK.

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Ukraine 0 – Switzerland 0 (3-0 on PKs)

Fun at times. Boring at times. Well played and badly played. Two shots on the posts, then minute after minute of midfield mediocrity. Precise long range passing, and crappy delivery after two or three touches. But hey, at least no one was sent off, which is a bleedin’ miracle in this cup.

It’s not that they did things wrong. It’s just that, well, they were not really very good at it. Both of them. Sure, there was a lot of good intentions, but this game was like an old screw. A screw that won’t come out because it’s all rusted, and no matter how hard you turn the ‘driver, it’s just not moving.

They both tried to search for the opponent’s goal, but never with clarity. They were both playing a good defensive game, and also dealing with their own issue up front. In the case of Ukraine, a Shevchenko that not only is showing he’s not the Sheva of 2-3 years ago in AC Milan, where everything went right for him and he was scoring even from rebounds off his ass, but to compound that, the fact that he never got steady, decent service from his midfield all through the cup. His only friend in attack is Voronin, but when his lights are also low, their encounters are minimal.

Switzerland? Well, betting most things on Frei, whom has good movement, knows how to unmark himself and win some backs, but is not the lethal finisher in front of goal that Sheva is. Plus, he also has to deal with the general lack of clarity and effectivenes of his own midfield feeders.

They both do what they can with what they are given. Which is little, since Ukraine != AC Milan, and Switzerland is… well, Switzerland.

And so, predictably , we reached the penalty kicks. First one, Sheva walks up and you just knew he was gonna choke it. It’s one of those things. You don’t know what it is. One of those je ne sais qua of football, where you can look at the guy walking up to the spot, and you just know it instantly. His PK wasn’t badly taken. It had placement and power… problem is it was too announced, and the Swiss keeper read it well.

Then Switzerland… my god. Do they kick PKs at all in Switzerland? First one, horribly taken. Second one, unlucky to the crossbar. Third one, even worst than the first one. And the Swiss are out. Better luck next time. Ukraine are through, and really unconvincing all through this cup. They’ll be eaten raw in quarters.

Man of the Match: Shovkovskyi (UKR). Made the most of two badly-taken PKs. Good eye to read them, and good reflexes to parry one and grab the other.
The good: The faint thought that Sheva will pick up his game against the Italians. We can only hope.
The bad: The Swiss are out, choking on PKs. Always a very crappy place to go out.

(*) Sorry, I just had to use that highly original comment that has never been heard before.

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A little thing for the fans, from my NSFW vault. Argentina keeps on winning.

Ah… an Ecuatorian cutie and an English cutie, ready to embrace and make out during the game. Isn't it beautiful? Football truly is a celebration of life and love. "French-kissing Without Borders", that should be the slogan for 2010. FIFA, take note.

Day 16. I mostly missed the ENG – ECU game due to me doing some things around the house. Still, from what little I saw, I don't think I missed a whole lot. However, the second game of the day delivered in spades. But hey, we'll talk about it in a bit.

So, England meeting Portugal in Quarter Finals. Nice game. England arrives at it in better shape, because now Scolari has to see how the hell he'll rearrange a team with a few injuries and a lot of yellow/red carded players. Patchwork team? We'll see. Not all are roses on the other end, because England wins, but is not convincing at it. Common football wisdow says such a thing can only carry you so far. Sooner or later you'll run into a luckier team.

We are truly getting into decisive stages, and you can definitely feel it in the matches themselves — the intensity is there, and the feel is different.

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England 1 – Ecuador 0

Didn't see much, but I didn't particularly like what I saw, other than that beautiful Becks Free Kick(tm) to seal the 1-0. I saw England playing… like England plays, more or less, while on the other end, I saw a distinctively timid Ecuador, that seemed to be respecting England a bit too much. There wasn't enough fire in the Ecuatorian offense. Certainly not what you expect from a team that needs a goal or they go out.

I mean, am I alone here? Am I just a lonely, deluded fool in thinking that if you're 0-1 down and 5 minutes to go, well, you have to go forward and try to get that goal no matter what? With all you have? I mean, really. If you're going out anyway, what does it matter to lose 0-1 or 0-2? What does it matter if you get hit from a counter because you opened up to go get a result.

England must have wanted it more, I suppose. I didn't see that on the field, but that's what I have to assume.

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Portugal 1 – Netherlands 0

Wow. Intense game from 1' to 96'. Not only intense, but at least I saw both teams with the will to play the ball nicely and not turtle back for the hell of it, counting on je ne sais qua to solve a game.

This, however, doesn't mean they didn't kill each other all the time. Full crappy marks to Portugal for the kind of game they were proposing. I imagine the initial idea from the Portuguese camp was a simple, classical one: Against a team that's younger and more skilled, use physical play to disrupt their game and their morale. And, yeah, it works. But one thing is physical play and another quite different is nasty play. Portugal just played nasty, and this doesn't mean I'm defending Holland here, because although they also had their share of crappiness inflicted, it was by far less than Portugal's.

Time wasting, faking injuries, nasty, untimely challenges, brawls… the game had it all for the discerning connoisseur. Particularly irritating, to me, was Figo's rather Shakespearean performance of a minor, unintentional arm flail while running for a ball. The one that got a NED player sent off. Way to go Figo, baby. Lovely.

As for the ref? Our friend Ivanov? I'm already seeing he's getting a lot of crap for the amount of yellows and some calls, but I'll say this: It's not his fault that the players don't give a shit. Yellows are also called 'cautions'. I can show you a caution, but it's up to you to tone it down and not get another one. Well, no one cared, therefore he continued to book players for what they deserved, according to his interpretation. And I don't think there's anything wrong with that. Yes, he made some mistakes, but all refs do. This hasn't been a bad ref showing by far, because although he did have a few wrong calls, he got most right. And what's more important perhaps, he got the ones that matter right.

So lay off Ivanov, please. He did the best he could trying to deal with two unruly teams that didn't give a damn and were out to kill each other. Or was it his fault that Costinha became a Terminator in the last 15' of the first half and won 2 yellows? Or was it his fault that Deco just went ahead, grabbed a FK ball and hid it so NED couldn't take the shot? Or was it his fault that some challenges by both teams were just nasty?

What's the option? Not to show yellow cards? Right, and then we'll bitch that he's not showing enough. Blame the players for ruining the game on this one, not the ref.

Man of the Match: I liked Van Persie in NED and Maniche in POR.
The good: Intense game, with both teams going at it and never really turtling back.
The bad: Too rough, way too much bad blood during some passages. Figo is an asshole. Smart asshole, but still an asshole.

– Fine, alright, if you feel cheated by today's "cuties", okay… here's a bonafide Dutch cutie for you to look out. Grab your dick and double-click.

Why so serious, hon? You're looking great there. Like a German papagayo. In any case, here's today's cutie in all her stoic glory. I wanted to try for a Swedish cutie, but they left early.

Anyway, what did I say when I started with all this? You always suffer with this lot. And sure enough. Turns out the titles I've been giving to these entries were not so wrong after all.

Lots of football today. Good football, bad football. Flowery football, gritty football. We had a little bit of everything. It's fun for the whole family, assuming your family is eclectic enough in their tastes.

Germany – Argentina in quarter finals… Jeesee Chrissy. What a game.

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Germany 2 – Sweden 0

Yeah, it was rough for Sweden. They came into this match not being favorites at all. Their prior performances, although effective in the end, were never as convincing as they should have been, with the exception of their game against England. Top this off with your biggest stars going through a dry spell of goals and quality and, yeah. It was rough.

Germany on the other hand, was the polar opposite. They had all the confidence in the world, plus the fans, their previous performances and their momentum to back them up. Sometimes teams are just in tune, and Germany sounded like a well-tempered clavier since day one, despite their defensive earthquakes against Costa Rica that cost them two goals.

So what happened? What was expected. Germany simply outplayed Sweden. They took control of the ball early, and never really gave it back. They were strong, relentless in their recovery and attack, and incisive where and when it counted, with Podolski stepping up and capitalizing on the darkest initial minutes of the scandinavian defense. Germany then became the team that proposed the game all through the 90', while Sweden was the team that was caught constantly reacting to that German idea of football. With that set up, the result sometimes simply becomes a matter of time.

Germany worked as a team. It wasn't a walk in the park for them, but they were vastly more cohesive and tight in all their lines. Sweden never really got any momentum going, and Lucic's early sending off certainly didn't help. Could anything else go wrong for the Swedes? Well, yes, in a way. Ibrahimovic? Fine, thank you. Larsson? Not his cup. What he could show in those very few opportunities his team gave him something decent to work with, was far from his usual self, and the kind of production he delivered through his career. He was always a potential threat, but it never realized. Oh, and he missed a penalty too.

Germany. Good teamwork. And that gives confidence to an already confident side. They played well, and when you play well, things happen for you. They were strong, relentless and incisive, Sweden was not. The scorelines could have been much more ample had it not been for Isaksson at the goal, doing his best to pilot the ship through the German storm.

Germany predictably reaches the quarter finals, and no one can take anything from them. They are quite possibly the strongest team in this competition, not only because their performances are based on a solid teamwork idea, but because they do seem to be playing better with each game, learning their mistakes and adapting for the next one.

They are the threat.

Man of the Match: I'm torn between Podolski (GER) and Isaksson (SWE). I liked both performances.
The good: A solid showing by Germany all over the field, which showed a team that's in tune with themselves and with Klinsmann's idea.
The bad: A Swedish team that never really took off the ground in the way many of us expected them to do. Very opaque performances from Larsson and Ibrahimovic all through the cup. See you in 2010, and keep bringing the cuties.

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Argentina 2 – Mexico 1

Intense. Fought over. Scraped. Rough. Yes, you can have all that and still not end up with a total stinker of a game.

Now this was a game that can be read in many different ways. Some of them closer to reality than others. Let's start with the most clear.

Mexico owned the ball from the get go. Why? Because they pressed further and harder than Argentina ever did throughout the game. When you press, you force your opponents to make mistakes, or take riskier passing options. Pressing is a simple concept, really, and when your team is committed to that pressing and knows how to place themselves on the field, it usually works very well.

Sure, Argentina was able to recover the ball at some points, one way or another, but what happened? I mentioned this back when they beat Serbia & MontyPython: We'll see what happens when they don't have the ball. And what happened was that Argentina's players did not have good positioning, and through most of the game were playing too far apart from each other. There was a certain idea of a disconnect between Argentina's lines, and this idea made itself evident in the lack of precision on the ball's delivery from feet to feet. That is, if you're too far apart on the field, and your opponent is pressing you hard, well, that's a risky proposition, because eventually your opponent can and will recover the ball much faster than you.

And that's exactly what happened. Argentina was forced to play rather coarsely all through the game, simply because Mexico was pressing them hard, getting the ball from them before the play could evolve into something more serious. Peachy for the aztecs. Problem is…

… pressing like that is hard work. Even if your team is at their very best physical condition, pressing will still take a lot of you. You'll eventually get tired. And when you get tired, you make more mistakes. You start leaving more room to your opponent. Even when you have the ball, it all becomes slower. You lack surprise. You become predictable and your intent choked. After 90' your body just doesn't answer like it did at 10'.

So eventually Argentina tried to keep their cool, against the overwhelming mexican pressure and their own mistakes. And sure enough, as time passed and the Mexicans were getting tired, Argentina started to find a little of the room that they had missed all through the game. Pekerman's subs were crucial, and came at the right point:

Cambiasso out, Aimar in: Less ball recovery, because at the time Mexico was getting tired and already not pressing so hard. More and faster transitions from midfield to attack, because Aimar can give you that, being a faster type of enganche than Riquelme.(*)
Crespo out, Tevez in – Saviola out, Messi in: A breath of fresh air up front, to capitalize on the mexican defense getting tired.

Even if Tevez and Messi didn't shine individually, they were instrumental to force the mexicans to fall back a little, since no one wants to have a tired defense *and* keep pressing to leave room for players like Tevez and Messi, coming in fresh from the bench.

In the end, Mexico ran out of gas and their pressing had to give. Still, Argentina was not clear and kept playing farther apart than I would have liked. Hence the score remaining 1-1 at full time. The extra periods were more of the same, but this time Argentina managed to find Maxi Rodriguez and he scored a goal from another game. 2-1 by now, during extra time. Mexico burned out after going at it 100% all through the game, Argentina much more fresh. It was time to keep the ball, and so it happened.

Germany will be a much different proposition, because although they will press Argentina as hard as Mexico did, well, as everyone knows Germans do not get tired. At all. So that little plan of waiting until they get tired can leave Argentina waiting a very long time. Also, Germany will also try to get the ball and keep it to themselves. It's not that they'll just happily go ahead and let Argentina get the ball just so everyone can enjoy the Super Happy Tango Short Passing Show. No sir. They'll get the ball, they'll try to kill you with it, and they have all the guns to do it.

Argentina will have to improve their positioning on the field, because that's crucial against a team like Germany who can find spaces fast. Also, their delivery and passing needs to improve. Argentina, passing the ball like they just did vs. Mexico is nothing by an invitation to disaster, because the Germans will get it, and they're not gonna screw around with it like Mexico did. Germany has the players and the quality to risk a lot more in possession of the ball than Mexico did, and any defensive mishaps will be paid dearly. 10-15 minutes of defensive madness will cost you the game against Germany.

And if you don't believe me, ask Sweden.

Man of the Match: I'd have to coincide with FIFA and say Maxi Rodriguez (ARG). Not just that shocking stunner of a goal, but also because he was there for the team all over the field. Lots of love.
The good: Maxi Rodriguez's goal was as unrepeatable as Joe Cole's vs. Sweden. Magnificent strike. Seeing Argentina kick Mexico out of the cup was truly a double joy.
The bad: Seeing Argentina in distress for long periods of the game, simply because they couldn't get the ball. Imprecise passing, bad positioning. Heinze having a terrible game back there.

(*) My great grandmother, rest in peace, even if raised from the grave right now would be a faster type of enganche than Riquelme. But that's grain from another sack. He's gonna have a terrible, terrible time against Germany. Mark my words.

Yes, it's another Korean cutie. Perhaps not as succulent as the previous one, but with the Red Devils going out of the cup, this will be our last chance for a while to enjoy some Asian hawt stuff.

Stick a fork in them, groups are done. Few surprises this time, unlike in '02 when it seemed the final group standings were determined by shooting dice. This time, there are only a couple of dark horses. The rest are predictable.

There's a more in depth analysis coming, but for now suffice it to say that we have a few, very promising matches coming up for the second round. Lots of ups and downs, and some sprinkles of uncertainty to add to the mix.

So let's get on wiv'it.

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Ukraine 1 – Tunisia 0

Can't comment, I couldn't watch it. I heard Sheva scored from a PK, so good for him.

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Spain 1 – Saudi Arabia 0

Yeah, well, don't let yourself get carried away by the spartan scoreline. It was pure spanish domination, as it couldn't be in any other way. There are two main reasons as to why the scoreline wasn't bigger: One, the saudi goalie caught a few. Two, Raul played.

Not much to say about this one really. It was predictably lopsided and Spain marches on comfortably, winning their group with a perfect score and a yummy +7 GD, having only received one goal. Playing good football and showing some brilliant moments every now and then, that was enough for Spain to do their job in an easy group.

Man of the Match: None really impressed me. Juanito (SPA), maybe.
The good: Spain++. Perfect score, remarkable performance.
The bad: Cañizares' "haircut". Looks like a Korean tarantula died up there.

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Switzerland 2 – South Korea 0

Ah, crud. Another one of my teams bites it. Couldn't watch this one, but I'm sad to see SK go. Not only my intake of cuties will now be severely reduced, but I also liked the team. Pale in comparison to the pluckier '02 squad, but still they always get my sympathy.

Switzerland surprisingly goes ahead and wins the group, something that I don't think was even in their own prospects. Good for them. Neutrality went out the window for this one: Switzerland gave a nice hand to France. While it's true that France did what they had to do, it was Switzerland with the overture, by scoring first against SK. News that were surely received quite well in the French bench and served well to uncompress things.

And who knows where Switzerland will end up now? Their non-flashy, but correct football never made them look bad on the field and certainly seems to work for them, being the only team in the entire groups stage that has not received a goal against them. Now they face the comparatively 'easy' Ukraine for the second round, and all bets are off. We'll see if Sheva & co. can over come the Swiss order with the weight of their individual skills. But it'll be a match they both can win.

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France 2 – Togo 0

Yes, I admit it. I was rooting for Togo on this one. And…

What? Come on, don't give me that. Who wasn't? Hell, if the polls I saw were to be believed, something like 50-60% of the French did not think the team were going to make it. France. Against Togo. Not going to make it. Right. With fans like these…

In any case, Togo played a respectable game, but they were simply outplayed by a France that for once showed signs of waking up (a little). Without birthday boy Zizou, they still managed to be overwhelming in attack. The first half could have easily ended up 4-0 for France if it had not been for Asassa the keeper, who managed to pull some truly outstanding saves.

In the end, despite dominating constantly, France could not score. not even with Henry and Trezeguet up front. Either Asassa got it, or they bottled their chances themselves. HT 0-0 and France was going out.

They must have reacted a little in the lockers, because even coming out to play the second half looking tired (yet again), they managed to pick up their game a little bit more, and it only took them about 15' to bag two and put their qualification beyond doubt, since Switzerland was doing short work of Korea. Oh well. They go through, but… what for? La Marche Futile indeed, because…

… now they have to play a psyched up Spain that's been playing very well, has shown is more cohesive as a team and has shown they're not shy in front of goal. Mon dieu, Barthez has his work cut out for him.

We'll see what happens. It'll be an interesting game to watch. Spain has a few debts to collect from France, and maybe that'll pump the Spanish even more to deliver a sound beating to a France that has shown it can react, but barely.

Man of the Match: Two. First, Asassa (TOG), amazing goalkeeping during the first half, covering and deflecting some truly impossible balls. Nothing to do in France's two goals. Second, Vieira (FRA). One goal, an assist to Henry for his. France's best player all over the field.
The good: Entertaining match. Watching the French get desperate as time passed and the goals were not coming.
The bad: France qualifying barely, depending most of the time on other teams' performances. They've shown very little so far.

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The promised analysis. Quick, because I have things to do you know. Do you think I do this for fun? Well, yeah, but that's not the point. I have important papers to deal with. Important papers. Business papers.

Group A: No surprises here: Germany and Ecuador. Some might have said Poland instead of Ecuador, but it was really Germany and one of those other two. In the end, not only Ecuador got the results, but they also played better.
Group B: No surprises here: England and Sweden. The only thing in doubt was who was going to be first. That was all.
Group C: No surprises here: Argentina and Netherlands. As most people predicted.
Group D: No surprises here: Portugal and Mexico. As predicted.
Group E: No surp… no, wait… hold up: Italy and… Ghana? Yeah. Ghana. Dark horse. Coming from behind and screwing both the Czechs and the US.
Group F: Another surprise: Brazil and Australia. Yup. Australia. Not Croatia, because they were flat and boring. Not Japan, because they can't score to save their lives. Australia.
Group G: A surprise for my taste at least: Switzerland and France. For some reason I was counting on SK's qualification a given but, alas, it was not enough and not to be. Switzerland winning the group is as surprising as France actually making it with the poor football they have shown.
Group H: No surprises here: Spain and Ukraine.

Get your second round action here. Four consecutive days of pure football action with some great games coming:

Sat 24th:
Germany vs. Sweden
Argentina vs. Mexico

Sun 25th:
England vs. Ecuador
Portugal vs. Netherlands

Mon 26th:
Italy vs. Australia
Switzerland vs. Ukraine

Tue 27th:
Brazil vs. Ghana
Spain vs. France

Well, spank me and call me Susan. There really are some great games in there. The brackets are played one per day, so it'll be easier to follow this time around: Every day, the winner of one game will face the winner of the other game in Quarters. Easy peasy.

Almost there with today's Italian cutie as well. Hey, don't get me wrong. She's nice, but I don't know if she's truly up to par with previous cuties. It's what we have, in any case.

This thing of not living in a footballing (aka: barbaric) country irritates the hell out of me. Take for example today, with all the simultaneous games that were going on. I had no choice. I had to watch Brazil – Japan, and not the rest. It's the only game the bootlickers at Univision were showing. So I missed AUS – CRO, which I was told was a match to remember for ages. Not because it was very well-played, but because it almost degenerated into a brawl and also there was a croatian player running around with two or three yellow cards. Which is always nice to see.

Hey, not knocking anything from Brazil – Japan. It was a very entertaining match. But, honestly, given the choice between watching Brazil steamroll in a predictable way over a weaker rival and watching 22 guys duke it out, punching kicking and scraping in a world cup… I dunno.

But I'm not here to talk about my problems. I'm here to talk about football.

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Czech Republic 0 – Italy 2

Couldn't watch it, because the ass kissers at Univision chose to show the US game. Which was nice, but also can't really compare to the other one. Hmm, let's see now, under equal conditions, would you as a football fan choose to watch CZE – Italy or USA – GHA?

Yeah, yeah… I know. When in Rome… and all that. They showed the US game because of their audience (millions of bootlickers like them). So good for them. Oh well.

Can't comment on the game anyway, other than to point out the strepitous fall of the Czech team. After playing so well against the US, they were a disaster the next two games. What happened? They were one of my teams. *sigh*

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USA 1 – Ghana 2

I'm not gonna pull a Nelson Muntz.

I can't analyze this game, in any case. Simply because I don't know what the hell happened. Or rather, I know what happened, but I'm tired of repeating myself at this point. That is: The US team – good attitude, very little else. And it pisses me off (a little… not that I care much about the US one way or the other), because I feel cheated. After the '02 WC I thought, well, hey… look at these guys. They're not the best, by they can play. Maybe this signals a surge in US football and they'll start becoming, as time passes, a decent team to watch.

So, thanks to this '06 squad to shoot that to hell. Also, yeah, I'm just gonna go ahead and say it, because I'm already seeing it going around, and I feel I have to address it: Stop complaining about the refs, stop complaining at how hard the Italians fouled you, and just stop complaining in general. Not only it makes you look bad, but you should know the Italians have the complaining market cornered since 1930.

The fact remains that if the US wants to become a competitive team (again, because I insist on the quality of the '02 squad), either you get used to these things, adapt and win, or you shut up and take it. Because that's how football is, and specially, that's how football is at this level. You will get the occasional dodgy ref, and the occasional hard tackling. There's no conspiracy here: This US team just sucked, comparatively speaking, from day one. They were never up to par with their competition.

In fact, if there was a conspiracy, knowing how FIFA works, the conspiracy would be to help the US, just so FIFA can tap into a yet virgin market of millions of US viewers and millions of US customers that will buy shitty rubber-ducky FIFA merchandise thanks to a good US performance to help the sport over there (here).

Better luck next time. Yes, the penalty for Ghana was not a foul in my opinion, and in the opinion of many. So, what? Instead of crying about a wrongly-called penalty, why not make sure you score lots and lots of goals so a wrongly-called penalty against you doesn't matter? See you in 2010. I'm sure of it, because CONCACAF is an abyss of football and there's only two or three teams worth a damn. The US team being one of them.

As for Ghana, congratulations on a historic qualification for the second round. They played alright, the victory over CZE being their highest point.

Man of the Match: None. Just that, none.
The good: Good result for Ghana, capitalizing on the Czechs catastrophic loss of form to sneak in.
The bad: The amount of bullshit I'm already seeing flying around from some US fans. The US team's generally poor level shown all through the group stage. After '02, I was expecting more.

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Australia 2 – Croatia 2

Couldn't see this one. I might end up having to download it, since I heard it was pretty intense.

Good for Australia. They'll play one game more than what I thought they would. Croatia? Flat, flat, flat.

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Japan 1 – Brazil 4

Raise your hand if you seriously thought Japan had anything in them to win this game. Okay… good. Now raise your hand if you seriously though they were really capable of winning by the three goals they needed. Right, right. Not all at the same time, folks.

Brazil wins in a predictable mann… no, wait. That's not how it goes, because there was nothing predictable about the first half. The first 45' in which Japan had no respect for Brazil and counted on the sleeping giant's lack of solidness in their back line. Well, it paid off. Japan opened the game, and for a good while they managed to defend their 1-0 in the best possible way: They kept attacking, looking for a second.

Sure enough, Brazil tied things up and they went to the dressing room 1-1.

Saving the best for last? Brazil came out of the lockers already looking like Brazil. And it wasn't that they were pissed off about Japan scoring. Not at all. I've seen Brazil pissed off many times, and that wasn't it. They came out of the lockers knowing they will eventually win the game in the second half. Everyone knew it. It wasn't a matter of 'if', it was 'how' they were going to do it.

And they did it like Brazil. They just woke up, turned on the heat, bossed the midfield to kill any chance of the Japanese doing anything with the ball, and used that midfield as a platform from which to launch their devastating offense. An offense that simply ran over what little resistance Japan had left to offer. 4-1 is a fair result, and it could've been an even bigger difference, had it not been for Kawaguchi having a good first half and stopping 3-4 sure goals.

Ronaldinho appeared more than in previous games, but is still not shining. Kaka was alright, showing himself a bit more. Ronaldo? Up there, always dangerous. Yes, he bagged two, but it never felt like he was a threat to the Japanese because of the way he was playing. Ronaldo was double marked because he was Ronaldo, and not because of what he was doing on the field. But hey… a double mark on Ronaldo means Robinho has more freedom to act, and the little guy did have a great game in offense. Always there, and always contributing to the plays.

Parreira, open your ears. Robinho is screaming for a chance to start in every game, and in my opinion he sure as hell earned it. He might not have Ronaldo's two goals, but he's looking faster, more precise and with his mind more in the game than Ronaldo.

In the end, a good exhibition for Brazil on the second half, and a first half belonging to the Japanese, whom despite the 1-1 scoreline at halftime, showed their vertiginous and rushing style of play can cause trouble to anyone. Even to a team like Brazil. If only that style wouldn't burn them so much that they come out to the second half already tired, and if only Japan had a decent striker, and if only Kawaguchi could have kept his quality saves for the second half as well…

… and wouldn't it be nice if we were older//then we wouldn't have to wait so long.

Man of the Match: I liked Kawaguchi (JAP), for some amazing saves in the first half. The second half, to me, belongs fair and square to Robinho (BRA).
The good: Nice back and forth, entertaining game during the first half. The second halfd was a Brazilian exhibition, which is always a pleasure to observe. Unless you are the dummy team that happens to be playing against these Globetrotters.
The bad: Takahara is still a twit. Japan got caught in their own speed and came out tired to the second half.

This time she's a proper Mexican cutie, not one with double nationality like yesterday. I like them both, for different reasons.

Day 13. A day that promised so much and delivered so little. For me, at least. It was like going to a five-star restaurant and finding plastic garden chairs by the tables. But hey, you can't have everything, they say.

Still, it wasn't all bad. Not really. I enjoyed watching Mexico work and suffer to ensure their passage. And I enjoyed some moments of ARG – NED. The more tired and mentally depleted we get them, the better.

Second round is shaping up and we're already seeing a couple of nice matchups. To wit, Sweden – Germany, which should be entertaining to say the least. England – Ecuador might prove interesting, if both teams decide to play offensively. Netherlands – Portugal has all the marks already of a traditional, well-played second round game. And Argentina – Mexico might just go ahead and give me immense personal satisfaction, for several reasons.

On we go then. Man… she does have a cute smile.

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Iran 1 – Angola 1

Univision didn't show it, so I can't comment. I was rooting all the time for Angola to score lots, but alas… it was not meant to be. Goodbye to both.

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Portugal 2 – Mexico 1

Nice game all in all. A game in which Portugal set out to play at their own pace, unchallenged, with no pressure and not much to worry about it. Mexico was the one on edge. And man, did it show through the game.

Portugal showed what they usually show – good ball control, mostly offensively-minded attitude, buildup of plays. However, to this they added the psychological control of the game from the first minute. They were not rushed to play, they were quite happy to put the ball in a nice, cold ice bucket and freeze the game whenever it was convenient for them, playing on Mexico's own worries and using that as a catalyst to disrupt the Mexican team.Well, it worked. Mexico had to go and get a win. And they sure tried, all through the game, but they were never clear, or calm. The Mexican side showed exactly what they had shown against Angola: Good intentions, and little else. They're a team that, credit to them, they always try for 90 minutes. But either because they don't have enough to try with, because of bad luck or imprecisions, they still can't get their game together properly. They can get the ball, they can sure carry it forward, but that's about it. Whatever happens from that point on, it's safe to assume that it won't end up in a goal.
So, Portugal more or less cruises past Mexico, letting them do all the work for nothing, and have all the worries, while they have the luxury of leaving players like C. Ronaldo, Pauleta and Deco out for this game. Still, they were never really troubled, other than in that PK that Bravo sent wide away.

Mexico passes through to the second round but… in what shape? They had a guy sent off, missed a critical PK and their game, except vs. Iran, was really nothing at all to write home about. Rafa Marquez had a terrible game, quite unusual for him, in which nothing he tried to do ever worked. A forgettable game for him. So I imagine confidence and morale at the Mexican camp must not be at an all-time high right now, particularly considering how they now know they'll be facing Argentina and not the (marginally) more accessible Netherlands.

Man of the Match: I liked Simao Sabrosa (POR) the most. Good vision and good movement in attack.
The good: Watching Mexico waste a PK like that. It would've been the tie.
The bad: Knowing that Mexico can beat Argentina if they get their act together and Argentina doesn't, which has happened in the past (re: Copa America '04, MEX 1 – ARG 0)

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Ivory Coast 3 – Serbia & Montenegro 2

Univision didn't show it, so I missed it. Proved to be quite an entertaining game from what I hear. Goodbye to both. I have little doubt CIV will be like Nigeria in the 90's, they'll make it back to the WC several times. At least while Droba still plays.

Memo to Serbia & MontyPython: You can't waste a 2-0 lead against Ivory Coast, for the love of Cruyff. Get out of my cup, you tourists.

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Argentina 0 – Netherlands 0

Boo! Yeah, I know. And rightly so.

Both teams I suppose were too evenly matched, and they spent a good chunk of the match studying each other. Trying, testing, poking each other's defensive lines and positioning. Then I suppose at some point, I'd say about the middle of the first half, they both got enough information and decided: Netherlands, to sit a little back and bet on sporadic lunges forward when they got the ball, hoping to score from a dead ball/corner/cross. Argentina, to press, but not too much and not too far. As to let Netherlands come out a little, open up a little, and count on Tevez and Messi's runs.

Heh. Yeah. Looks great on the whiteboard. Problem is… neither attacked the other with all they had, therefore neither plan really worked.

Argentina was the one that commanded the game and the flow of play, while the Netherlands bet on doing what was available to them when they could get the ball from their rivals. It proved to be a fought-over game. More fought that I would have anticipated. I was envisioning and hoping for a much more open game, with both teams leaning on their own offenses more decidedly, but it did not happen.

Fight and scrape in the midfield was the name of the game, and as far as actual good football, well, little was shown of that, other than some nice, short and sporadic brushes. Still, Argentina was the one that came the closest to score, thanks to two shots on the post and the constant threat of Tevez and Messi, another dynamic duo up front that can work together well, like Saviola and Crespo.

However, not all are roses. For the Netherlands, having Robben out meant that they lost a lot of offensive possession of the ball, and the creativity and skill to turn that possession into something truly threatening. Most of the Dutch team's offensive forays ended up being imprecise, or contained by a well-positioned and solid Argentine back line. Van Nistelrooy never got decent service or a clear chance in front of goal for the whole game, and instead NED chose to try with Van Persie constantly from free kicks in the hopes it'd pay off.

Argentina left a few key players out to rest, or due to accumulation of yellow cards. Crespo and Saviola were benched, along with Heinze and Sorin. Sorin's absence was particularly noticed, since it exposed clearly one of the weaknesses of this team: The lack of good wing backs. Not only Cufre is a poor replacement (he really did have a bad game today), but is also a different kind of player. He does not work the whole left side like Sorin does, up and down carrying the ball, which meant that Riquelme had to fall to the left himself to get the ball and do something. And if Riquelme is on the left, there's no one really on the center to move the ball offensively, or send a hurting through ball. And if Riquelme is not there, that meant Tevez and Messi had to fall back on the field to get the ball. Without Sorin's input from the back, Argentina does look a bit out of position from the midfield up. That's how much of a key player he is.

Add to this Riquelme not having a particularly enlightened afternoon, and there you go. Tevez and Messi are very good, but sometimes they can't do everything themselves. Specially against Dutch double-marking on them. Still, they managed to create problems. Tevez, particularly, was the better part of the duo today. Looked much more dangerous than Messi.

In the end, no goals, a match that lacked brilliance and a 0-0 that satisfies all, but pleases none. They both go through anyway.

Man of the Match: I liked Tevez (ARG) the most. Always there, always bothering the defense and always dangerous. you just can't leave him or Messi alone.
The good: Some flashes of the good pressing-and-short passing style from Argentina.
The bad: Too fought over in the midfield for my taste. Slow attacks from both at times. Sorin's absence being clearly noticed. Cufre had a forgettable game, and I don't think he should start again unless it's an absolute last resort scenario.

Is today's cutie Mexican? German? Who cares, if she's got that wonderful pair of… of… countries she seems to be so fond of. Yeah.

Day 12 came and went. And so did four teams. Unfortunately, despite having a couple of good games, I think Day 12 was rather flat. Reason being, all teams played for… nothing, really. Bah, nothing other than the elusive concept of "Oh, I wanna play against that one next, not that other one".

Both GER – ECU and ENG – SWE were games in which little else was at stake. All four were realistically, if not mathematically already qualified. So, nothing more there than to put up a good show for your team and country, and try to get the best possible rival for the second round. On the other side of the spectrum, POL – CRC and PAR – T&T also played for nothing. They were out. Down and out.

Ah, if only the luck of the draw and team progression had conspired to make the last games of Groups A and B as attractive as other groups'. But, this is what we had.

Although watching Der Chavmeister Rooney lose it in the dugout, as much as I can understand his frustration, was almost worth the price of admission. Which in my case, was zero, since I don't pay for cable, but I still get it. So there. Suck on that one.

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Ecuador 0 – Germany 3

Germany set out to steamroll over Ecuador, and they went ahead and did just that. Germany were their usual selves: Relentless and machine-like (pretty much). And that was enough to overcome a flat Ecuador, that never really got their heart into the game at any point.

Even after Germany's first goal which, granted, came rather early, Ecuador never looked as if they were reacting. Perhaps they were wary of opening up too much against Klose, Ballack et al. Or perhaps they knew they were playing for nothing and simply remained as they were, being willful partners to their rival's domination. In any case, Germany looked solid and Ecuador did not. It was a good test for both. And Germany's second goal was a textbook counter attack. Fast, precise and lethal. Beautiful.

Man of the Match: Klose (GER) for me. Always there, bagged two. It's what people were expecting from him. Special mention to the ref, Valentin Ivanov (RUS), for looking just like Ryan Stiles.
The good: That German second goal was an amazing counter.
The bad: How flat and uninspired Ecuador looked all through the game. Their heads and hearts seemed to be elsewhere. I hope whatever it was does not repeat itself.

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Costa Rica 1 – Poland 2

Could not watch it, since Univision focused on ECU – GER. Can't comment.

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Paraguay 2 – Trinidad & Tobago 0

Could not watch it, since Univision focused on ENG – SWE. Can't comment. Good to know Cuevas scored. I like him.

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England 2 – Sweden 2

Best game of the day, without a doubt.

England were relentless in the first half, constantly running over a weak Swedish midfield and keeping the pressure on the Swede's own half, whom were forced to try and make the best they could in their sporadic forays into England's turf. But, just as it happened when these two last met in Euro '04, Sweden picked up their game for the second half and started to turn things around. Eventually they did.

It was truly a game of two halves, but it was always entertaining and intensely played. Very enjoyable (unless you were English or Swedish I imagine). England's first, courtesy of Joe Goal Cole was truly a work of art. Easily to me the second most beautiful goal in the cup so far. Sweden's goals were a bit more scrappy, but they came just when they had to. Very timely, if unexpected perhaps by both teams. Such is football.

It was also nice to finally see England and Sweden pitted against a half-decent team. It showed how even these two sides really are, despite the evolution of play during the game. In the end, I have to give it to England, since it seemed to me they controlled the game better than Sweden. Alas, Sweden was there when it counted, and made their second half pressure pay off over a strangely irregular defense. Scary to see how badly (for some reason) England defended some corner kicks. Proof of that, both Swedish goals coming from crosses.

Man of the Match: I didn't really see any sheer, blinding individual performances on this one. I'd have to mention Joe Cole for his goal.
The good: Did I mention Joe Cole's goal? Are you sure? I'm pretty sure I did.
The bad: Owen's injury so early, hope he'll be alright. Rooney losing his cool like that. Temper, temper…

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Second Round: Germany meets Sweden. Having won their group, the Germans meet the second worst-possible rival out of Group B, the Swedes. Should be a very entertaining match, since Sweden demonstrated today that even when there's not much to play for, they won't just roll over and die like Ecuador did.

Ecuador faces England. A tough prospect, and it could very well mean Ecuador's swan song in this cup. However, England has shown a rather nasty habit so far of raising/lowering their play according to the rival, willfully or not. Another thing that remains to be seen is how both arrive to that game. Ecuador, from a heavy defeat. England, from a fought-over draw. We'll see. Should be interesting if it opens up and/or Sven grows a pair and stops protecting 1-0 leads.

Man, how times flies. Anyway, here you go. A nice analysis, with all the math, possibilities and all that good sh*t. Courtesy of yours truly. Get ready for the last days of the groups. Nail biting.

And yes, I lifted the groups from FIFA’s site. So what. It’s not that I’m making any money with this or anything.

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Ecuador: Already qualified
Germany: Already qualified
Poland: Out
Costa Rica: Out

England: Already qualified
Sweden: Qualifies with a victory or tie vs. England. Also qualifies if they lose vs. England and T&T loses, draws or beats Paraguay by no more than 2 goals (at least).
T&T: Has to beat Paraguay by more than 2 goals and count on Sweden losing.
Paraguay: Out

Argentina: Already qualified
Netherlands: Already qualified
Ivory Coast: Out
Serbia & Montenegro: Out

Portugal: Already qualified
Mexico: Qualifies with a win or draw against Portugal or if they lose against Portugal and Angola draws or loses vs. Iran
Angola: Has to beat Iran by 3 goals and count on Mexico losing vs. Portugal by 1 goal or more
Iran: Out

Italy: Has to beat CZE or draw vs CZE and count on Ghana drawing or losing vs. USA or losing vs CZE and counting on Ghana losing vs USA by no more than 5 goals
CZE: Has to beat Italy or draw vs Italy and count on Ghana drawing or losing vs. USA by no more than 4 goals
Ghana: Has to beat USA or draw vs USA and count on Italy beating CZE or draw vs USA and count on CZE beating Italy by more than 2 goals
USA: Several scenarios, all needing them to beat Ghana by more than 3 goals for goal difference to start mattering at all, realistically.

Brazil: Already qualified
Australia: Qualifies with a win vs Croatia or a draw vs. Croatia and Japan draws or loses vs. Brazil
Croatia: Has to beat Australia to qualify
Japan: Several scenarios, all needing them to beat Brazil by 3 goals or more, while counting on other results for their goal difference to matter at all, realistically.

Switzerland: Qualifies with a win vs. KOR or a draw or defeat vs. KOR and France drawing or losing vs. Togo
South Korea: Qualifies with a win vs. SWI or a draw or defeat vs. SWI and France drawing or losing vs. Togo
France: Several scenarios, all needing them to beat Togo by 2 goals or more not to depend on the result of SWI – KOR. If SWI – KOR is a draw and they beat Togo by 2 goals or more, they qualify, KOR doesn’t.
Togo: Out

Spain: Already qualified
Ukraine: Qualifies with a win or draw vs. Tunisia
Tunisia: Has to beat Ukraine to qualify and count on KSA not beating Spain by four goals more than however many they beat Ukraine with.
Saudi Arabia: Qualifies with an act of god.

Yes, I know these six Spanish cuties might not be the prettiest of the cuties I’ve shown, but on the other hand… there’s six of them. I’m sure you can choose one, or at the very least make one up with parts of the others.

Anyway, too bad this World Cup wasn’t played in July. Had it been, the match between Spain and Tunisia would’ve been a nice, surreal reminder of the Battle of Las Navas de Tolosa, which happened in July 16th, 1212, and in which a combined christian army of nobles routed a much larger force of Almohads moors, signaling a turning point in the Reconquista.

Not that the game had anything to do with that battle, but it would’ve been nice to tie those two together. Not much happened in the other games that was not expected, to a bigger or lesser degree, so we can just go ahead and jump into it.

Oh, and the cutie above sporting the “Ñ”, really needs to lay off the desserts and sweets. Just a thought.

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Togo 0 – Switzerland 2

Togo took too long to-go. God, I’m awesome with this writing thing. All “o’s” in there and it’s factual.

Let’s see then. Inexperienced African team? Check. Lots of infighting and controversy within the group? Check. Coach quitting and coming back next day? Check. FIFA having to intervene and pretty much force players to show up and play? Check.

Lovely. So, given all that, was there any surprise at all, besides the footballistic aspect of course, when Togo gets eliminated early having shown very little? No, no surprise at all. Even if all of the above had not happened, Togo’s football was never up to par with their rivals’. And off they go, another one bites the dust.

As for Switzerland, they were never really troubled, despite Togo’s enthusiasm in attack. It was just that: enthusiasm, and the lack of transforming it into a solid display. Switzerland was more ordered (Ordered European team? Check), and made the most of their chances. The second goal, a beauty of finishing too.

Not all is said in this group yet, other than Togo is out. Still, the Swiss lead rather comfortably, by most accounts and possibilities needing only a tie against South Korea to get to the second round.

Man of the Match: I didn’t like anyone, but I’m a demanding asshole.
The good: Tranquillo Barnetta (SWI) has quite possibly the most awesome footballer name ever.
The bad: Togo’s players demanding $200k per player just to show up for their games. Who the flying fjord do they think they are? Good riddance, wankers. Specially knowing that every kid in the world would gladly die to be where you are now. For free.

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Saudi Arabia 0 – Ukraine 4

It’s not a proper world cup until Saudi Arabia gets a proper thrashing.

Ukraine woke up against the (arguably) weakest side in the competition. In every competition. How does Saudi Arabia manage to qualify again and again for the WC is beyond me, but hey… they do, and 90% of the time not only they’re automatic 3-point-givers, but also have the decency of playing badly so the rival can put up a good offensive show and fill up their bucket with goals.

The Ukrainians woke up indeed, bagging four. Which leaves them back at square one in regards to goal difference. It was a much better performance this time around, although they were playing against nobody. Still, three points are three points. The victory keeps them alive and motivated to keep going and maybe scrape a ticket to the second round, which all things considered should come relatively easy, assuming they don’t screw the pouch like they did against Spain.

Good riddance KSA. Thanks for coming and sucking, so people can see some goals and leave the stadium happy.

Man of the Match: Kalinichenko (UKR). He was there, and he scored twice. What more can you ask of a forward?
The good: Ukraine’s second goal was a beauty. With complicity of the keeper, sure, but still precious to watch.
The bad: Allah might be great, but this Saudi team wasn’t. Bye bye. See you in 2010. I’m sure you’ll make it, because although the Middle East is the armpit of football, you’re the part that smells the least. And that’s saying a lot.

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Spain 3 – Tunisia 1

Madre de Dios, que manera de pelotudear…

Good result for Spain, ensuring their passage to the second round but… man, did they have to work for it.

Tunisia, without having anything to worry most teams with, managed not only to score early against Spain (sure, courtesy of a gift from the Spanish defense, but they did put it in), but also to lockdown defensively and prevent any further goals for over an hour. Then it all went to hell, and the Tunisian fort couldn’t hold the assault any longer. But that’s football.

Spain tried constantly, but could never find the way with clarity. Tunisia was not Ukraine, and by that I mean there were no easy holes, no gaping chasms in defense for the Spanish forwards to do their trickeries with comfort. No. They had to fight for those spaces, and they were scarce for most of the game.

A loud and clear flag and alarm for Luis Aragonés, because yeah, sure… we know Spain plays well if you give them room to play well but… hell, all teams do. Against a team that locks themselves up in defense and gives no room to work with, Spain didn’t work. And it didn’t work for a long, long time until the second goal finally dropped. Almost scary to see roughly the same team that manhandled Ukraine, struggling to penetrate the Tunisian defense with clarity, and constantly betting on dubiously placed centres to the box.

I mean, be fair. Spain was never a team which had a defining style of short passing. That doesn’t mean they can’t, but like a good European team, their style is much more direct. Granted. So when you see Spain passing it along trying to find an opening that for most of the game was not there, then you realize something’s not right. They were forced to play the passing game, getting more and more desperate as time went by, because Tunisia closed their own gaps well, and never really gave them room. Even Spains equalizer came from a defensive mishap, in a similar play to Tunisia’s own first.

After that it was all over. Tunisia lost concentration, and a quick second goal sealed their fate. They never came back after that. Torres’ PK was just the cherry on top, but the match was done and over when it went 2-1 already.

So… many things to work out for Don Luis. Getting the ball back is one thing, and it’s necessary. Everyone knows that. But the other half of the equation is that you have to know what you want to do with the ball once you have it. Spain knew what they wanted to do, at times, but couldn’t find the way to do it. And the fact that Tunisia managed to hold their lead for as long as they did, against an offensively-minded spanish team, is also preoccupating.

Spain’s next game is against Middle Eastern powerhouse KSA, so that won’t be a test. But after that… it’s the second round. Do or die. Spain can’t afford to let any team lead them over for an hour. Maybe next time there won’t be any defensive screwups to turn the tide over, and La Furia will remain tamed. Tamed, and out of the cup. Something to watch for. Hope they improve in that area.

Man of the Match: I would’ve given it to Boumnijel (TUN), the keeper, since he was so solid, and inspiring of confidence but… he fell down along with his teammates after Spain’s equalizer. His last 15-20′ of the game were forgettable. So… no MoM.
The good: Spains attitude. Always going forward and looking to tie. And once that was done, to keep going to get the lead. And once that was done, to keep going and get a third one, just to seal it and be sure. Something to imitate. Perhaps they were not clear doing so, but you could tell they wanted the win, more than Tunisia wanted their draw.
The bad: Spain being held out at bay for over an hour, and 0-1 down. I mean, good for Tunisia. Full marks for them during that hour but… Spain just couldn’t, and that was a little bit… eeew.